Category: Literature (2024)

9/18/2015

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The last of summer reading is upon us.

Before the school year started up I managed to sneak two books into my schedule before classes started up. The first was a true winner and the second was missing of much win.

No surprise to the living and breathing world of literature, the Jackie Collins novel I picked up was tantalizing. Her books are trashy representations of the upper class. There an escape to the world of the rich and famous. The kind that makes the middle class mom in Iowa glad she never pursued her dream of acting.

Last summer I spent most of my time with Jackie Collins. In fact the last book I read was Hollywood Wives. Her books might be four or five hundred pages long, but it's not implausible that you could knock one out in an afternoon. They're that good. Jackie Collins is a goddess.

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Jackie Collins (right) with her sister and actress Joan Collins (left) on the Graham Norton Show

The novel of hers I got from the local library was Thrill! I'd seen it from a distance. I'd picked other books over it. Jackie Collins has titled her books much better. See The Stud and Poor Little Bitch Girl for examples. The cover was also tranquially electric. Momma told us not to judge a book by it's cover and that's what I did.

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Thrill! is one of Jackie Collin's books from the nineties. It is not her best. However, I can't believe I thought it would take me four days to read this book. Try two with time to spare. If I hadn't been working Sunday it would have been no contest.

This is not the Jackie Collins novel I would start a fresh reader on. It's not her best. It also is not her most original. It's a little tired if a solid read. The one thing I love is that all the men are pieces of sh*t. That's the kind of literature I can stand before.

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It centers around actress Lara Ivory. Everyone else is subplot. She is the star of the show. I can't say I like the ending of the book. It wasn't satisfying. It did do it's job. I just loved Lara too much for her life to converge in that way.

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The final book I read was Tigerman. I made the mistake of judging a book by it's cover. I thought, this looks really cool let me read it. I got books with the twins and Miss Sara Bellum picked up Nick Harkaway's Angelmaker. It's the same man who wrote Tigerman and I thought we would love it. We did not.

Looking at his picture on the flap of the book I just imagine he imagines himself as an Ernest Hemingway. Take that as you will. The book caters to this kind of created masculinity. It's archaic and muscular yet firmly set in the 21st century.

I honestly didn't know if I liked this book for the longest time. The wording was heavy and I was just trying to figure it out. Then, about page 250 I realized that I intensely did not like this book. Fun fact the book is only 337 pages long. I finished it.

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Let me tell you what this book is actually about. The flap does not explain anything. The book centers around Sergeant Lester Ferris and his affection for this boy. It's a really sweet relationship. The sergeant just wants to take care of him and make him his son. I actually really liked the Sergeant without enjoying the book. I also like the boy.

That was his name in the book.

They live on this island that's going to be destroyed. And, I'm sure somewhere between all the words the author explained why it was necessary for the Sergeant to turn into Tigerman. The comic strip superhero of Mancreu. I'm not kidding you. This is the plot. All of it set in a realism.

This book could have been fast paced. It needed an editor to cut some of the length out. That could have helped my perception of it. However, despite my criticisms of this book I really did grow fond of a few of the characters. Like The Sergeant, the boy, and Africa (you have to read deep into the muck for this jewel).

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Also the fact that the book has thirty page chapters is not kosher. It takes ten years to get through one chapter and I have no drive to read another one. Long chapters are deaths to solid literature. They halt the progress it takes to read it.

What made me the most upset was the ending. I spent all this time. Invested all this energy into loving and supporting these characters FOR YOU TO DO THIS TO THEM???

I am still so mad. I was on break finishing this book when this happened to me. NICK HARKAWAY YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE.

All of that said. This book does have it's own charm and for some the writing style might not be prohibitive into getting into the novel. I imagine if your a middle aged heterosexual man retired to Bermuda with a snifter of brandy in has hand, you would find this book quite entertaining. AND NOT AT ALL HEART BREAKING AND DISAPPOINTING.

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Translation Please

8/21/2015

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Category: Literature (16)

Haruki Murakami is a Japanese author.

I was in a round of Knowledge Bowl. High school. The teacher said, “none of you are going to know this.” I along with everyone else told him to ask the question anyway. He asked for the name of the author of 1Q84. I told him it was Haruki Murakami. He was pleasantly surprised.

The first time I was introduced to Murakami was by this wonderful lesbian I had in my French. I would never say that we were friends. She wasn't the kind of person who had friends. She had lovers. I don't know if I would say we were even particularly close, but I don't know if she's knows the kind of impact she's had on my life.

She was unapologetic about her sexual orientation. It was empowering. It's how I try to be now. She introduced me to Lana Del Rey and Murakami. She's a goddess. I hope she's doing well wherever she is.

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This girl was always in a book and day I asked her what she was reading in class one day. It was 1Q84 and she told me Murakami was one of her favorite authors.

I didn't end up reading it until that summer. That's when I did all my reading and I stumbled upon it in the library and I picked it up. I read it in three days. If you've ever seen 1Q84 you should know that's an accomplishment.

This novel is a tome. It was published as three separate books in Japan before it was finally published as one volume there and in the United States. It's an intense read and all these years later not the novel I would start a beginner in Murakami on. This is a novel you need to carve out time for. Someone asked me what was this book about and I told them what wasn't it about.

I love 1Q84. I love the titles deliberate riff on George Orwell's classic. I love the book. I've been told by some that they found the ending disappointing. I don't agree. Murakami is the kind of author that book club's can read. He's a superstar in Japan. Much like E.L. James or J.K. Rowling is in America.

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If you want to start reading Japanese literature there's no better place to start then Murakami. He deals often times with this mystical realism and his prose is amazing. One word by Murakami is better then anything I could ever come up with.

This summer I finally picked up another few books after Madonna: An Intimate Biography, China Rich Girlfriend, and Kim Kardashian's Selfish. I love Murakami and I said I need to read more. I read Norwegian Wood and I'm honestly so conflicted.

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It was a good read. I must admit. It took me a little under a week. I must say that seventy page chapter was unnecessary. This is not a book I would start someone on. I do love everything Murakami does, but I wouldn't consider this his best. I did enjoy the titles reference to The Beatles. That's something Murakami is always doing. Tying his novels to music. Classical music most often.

Definitely make time to read Norwegian Wood if you want. I would never stop you. Murakami never falls flat, but it is not my favorite.

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The book of his that I am obsessing over is his latest release. It sold over a million copies in it's first week on sale in Japan. It's a fast paced read and I think a good introduction to Murakami. It's not as much of a commitment as 1Q84 or some of his other work.

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It's entitled the Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage. I don't want to give much away, but it's certainly one of my favorites reads in a long time. There's actually a lot of similarities to the male leads in both Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and Norwegian Wood. Something I might not have noticed if I hadn't read them both back to back.

Both leads are just kind of apathetic if likeable. The one thing I must warm you about is the sex scenes. Murakami is very direct. This is PG-13 material, but he doesn't hold back either.

The Colorless Tskuru Tazaki is about this man who thinks of himself as colorless, while everyone who was important in his life had a “color”. That's all I'm really going to say about it. If you want to know more google at your own risk. It's a quick fast paced read. Trust me. I'm obsessed with it. I can't stop thinking about it.

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What I love about my friend group is that I actually have people who will let me talk about Murakami with them. That's when you know you've picked the right friends. The kind of people who read Murakami in their off time are the kind of people you want to know.

Unless you live in Japan, because there's not a person who doesn't read their Murakami or at the very least go to their nearest retailer and pick themselves up a hardcover copy.

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Scream MTV

8/7/2015

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Teen Wolf is back and more excitedly MTV has debuted a new television show, Scream. MTV has long ago given up it's namesake of promoting music and has resorted to a roster of reality TV and questionable hour long diversions.

The show is based off the 1996 film of the same name. That movie starred Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Drew Barrymore. And, is filed on a long list of movies that I will eventually get around to seeing in my life time. MTV is capitalizing on the franchise's history to build an audience for their new show.

It appears to be working. The show has already been renewed for a second season, although it remains unclear if it will be a continuation of this plot line of if it will center around a new cast much like American Horror Story.

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Scream joins a long list of horror shows joining the roster. The aforementioned American Horror Story, Bates Motel, Masters of Horror, and even the Hitchockesque Twilight Zone. Another newcomer for the year is a similairly titled Ryan Murphy (the man also behind American Horror Story and Glee ) production titled Scream Queens that Nick Jonas and Arianna Grande are set to appear in.

Scream does not boast such an A-List cast. It doesn't even boast the most attractive cast on MTV. The most attractive cast member was slashed in the series premiere. John Karna's character Noah Foster has a dork liked appeal. He's obsessed with serial killers and is the most obvious suspect in the string of murders.

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Noah Foster: The Dork

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Mr. Branson: The Teacher

Most of these actors don't have wikipedia pages and there acting is two dimensional. The characters are wooden and predictable. The popular jocks and girls and the outsiders. The people who don't fit in. The boy who just moved to town. The hot teacher. Sex obsessed students. Wild parties.

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Emma Duvall: The Pretty Well Intentioned Popular Girl

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Audrey Jensen: The Lesbian

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Brooke Maddox: The slu*t

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Kieran Wilcox: The Mysterious New Kid Who Just Moved To Town

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Will Belmont: The Jock

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Clark Hudson: The Sherriff

It works. I'm obsessed with this show. I anticipate every Tuesday. This show is a self aware drama. The students are taking an American Gothic literature class and one of them explains that a slasher show “just wouldn't work”. In fact MTV has marketed it on this point. And, in truth one person was hanged. Not slashed

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This show is building itself on the thin guidelines of a slasher. It's not an exact carbon copy. I watch it with the lights off and a bowl of popcorn. It scare me just enough that I can still go to sleep. It's trashy, basic white girl fun, and I stand for it.

Scream is one of my guilty pleasures of the summer. I would not say it's quality television, but it's so entertaining. It also has a little bit of that How To Get Away With Murder intrigue. You don't know who the killer be. So, you have 10 episodes to figure it out and more people get slashed as you go along. So, the suspect pool is much smaller.

I saw one person say it was going to be the teacher. They were like its “so obvious” and I was just like is it? Is it really? I have no guess at this moment. I'm just enjoying the ride.

We also don't have enough main characters to kill one person every week. There was one episode where we only killed one person and I'm just wondering how this is supposed to work. And, I'm supposed to be invested in these people. Just to have them axed. I don't know how much I'm about that life. But, I'll be watching.

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Cherie Cheezcake has started watching this show along with Black. It is the five star experience across the boards. I know we're already half way through the season, but you can catch up on MTV.

Watch the first episode here.

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Classic Literature

3/6/2015

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Let me tell you how surprised I was by the level of enamored I was with this short little novel by Voltaire.

I did not expect to like it. Let's look at the facts. It is from the 1700's. Eww. Voltaire is an enlightenment thinker. Double eww. To be perfectly honest I didn't actually plan on reading it all for my English class. Skimming was definitely on my mind. Spark note it if it exists.

As a non-English major I'm taking two many English classes. They're both on Tuesday and Thursday and they both assign a combined two hundred pages of reading and it's like LOL. I am not reading all of this. The reading for Tuesday I got you. The reading for Thursday's does not happen.

At the time I was reading Rabbit Run for my American Masculinities class. That book was insufferable. It wasn't bad, but it really wasn't good. I can't say I enjoyed. And, of course I thought I nailed the essay for that book, because I actually read the whole thing. I did not nail it. I got an 80. I was like da f*ck.

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I love my American Masculinites class, but I feel like I'm going to fail it. And, by fail I mean get a B in it, but I'm trying so hard and I'm just not doing that well. I walked in on my first day of class with a pair of high heels on, because how else do you walk into an American Masculinities class. It is so great. It's a class filled with radical feminists and these two super sweet boys. And, it came as no surprise that one of them was gay.

It was only after finishing my reading for Rabbit Run that I pick up Candide. The sixty pages I had to read. They were glorious. If I wasn't physically drained, I would have finished it.

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I was fire. I was on top of it in class discussion. I just want everyone to know I nailed it, because I almost never nail it. By almost never what I mean is never.

If you don't know the concept of Candide that is okay. It is basically the most bullsh*t story you will ever read and for it being written over 300 years ago it's perfectly understandable. Unlike my blog in ten years.

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The book is satire and it is insane. Butt cheeks are cut off, there are earthquakes, and beatings. Everyone dies at least once in the book. There is so much sex and it is just so good. Voltaire just straight up kills it the entire time.

Now I am a cheap ass college student, who refused to buy any of their textbooks , so you do not need to run out and buy Candide. Even, though you totally should if you want to. This book is only like 120 pages, but it is straight fast forwarding plot.

So, of course I have included the PDF for you to download and read. You can thank me after you read it and are just as obsessed with how awesome Voltaire is. I'm not expressing myself well in truly stating that this book (novella?) is everything you need in life. It might be short, but unlike that hot ass mess that is Utopia. It is everything.

voltaire_candide.pdf

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Category: Literature (2024)

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